Sinquisition
by Wyldehart
Summary: Cullen and Miriana's most intimate moments are portrayed in full, poorly-written, adjective-filled smut that has everyone talking. It becomes the rage of the keep and Cullen is determined to squash this best seller at its source, much to Varric's amusement. NSFW: Sex. Bad innuendo. Humorous descriptions. And yeah, it's going to have its playful raunchy bits. No plot spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

_**Sinquisition**_

Chapter 1:

Home. She was finally home. Wearily, Mirian handed the reins of her horse to a stable boy and turned as snow began to fall in earnest, around her, the lights of the keep blurring. Cullen was there, the only person to greet her at this late hour, likely having run from the keep to the heavy gates as she crossed the bridge. He smiled his lopsided grin and held out his strong arms to her, his coat in his hands as he wrapped her in it while she hugged him.

"My lady! I cannot properly express my joy in seeing you home at last. How was it?" he asked as she snuggled into his armored chest. He was so warm, so wonderfully warm.

"Painful. The report is in my bag, written and ready to go. Poor Bull has added another scar to his collection. He's proud of it, though. Still… I needed to use a salve to help it heal, even with my magic. He took the wound for me. How are you? How are your headaches?" she asked as her fingers brushed his cheeks and lips, which kissed them as they met.

He drew her close while they crossed the courtyard to the main hall and kissed her lips from time to time as they talked. There was no longer any attempt to hide their affection, though he cringed when he heard even innocent gossip. "My nightmares and the headaches that accompany them are still bad. Very bad. But when you're home, it all feels so much better. When I hold you, I feel like they are easier to bear."

He kissed her deeply, his tongue wrapped around hers as he hungrily showed her how missed she was. Her arms held his neck tightly as he enfolded her in his strong embrace. Her hand reached between his legs and squeezed his alert cock, making him grunt and hold her tighter. They were unaware of the location of their kiss, which happened to be the entrance of the main hall, where everyone watched the tender reunion with smiles and open appreciation. "Get a room, you two," Varric chuckled from his seat by the fire.

"We plan to," Cullen smirked.

"Anything exciting happen while I was gone, Varric?" Miriana smiled as she held onto her lover with both arms.

The dwarf made a face and looked like he wanted to say something but hesitated. "I'll…have more later. There's something but…"

"I don't like 'buts,' Varric. 'Buts' are bad. Unless it's 'but, you're awesome.' What's going on?" she asked as she turned around in the circle Cullen's warm arms, hands on her hips.

"Eh, better to see if I can get more information first. You know how it is. When I have enough to give you, I promise, you'll be the first to know. Unless… Well…"

"I don't like 'wells' either, Varric, save the kind that give us water."

"Bear with me, Lady Inquisitor. I'm working on it! Now, if you don't mind, I have another chapter to write for Swords and Shields and I'm certain you need to defrost. It's cold as Cullen's balls are right about now and you look like you could use a hot bath."

Cullen cringed at the reference and took Miriana's hand. "My…ahem. Nothing is cold about me, I can assure you."

Snorting, Varric peered up at the Commander and said, "Bullshit! You sit in that drafty office of yours from sunup to sundown and do your reports and ask if we've heard anything from our illustrious lady here and then you crawl back into your hole and push your papers around some more. Brr! I actually prefer it when she's here because you're more likely to leave your cave. I think hibernating bears get out more than you do."

Miriana turned around and pressed her body against Cullen's as he glared down at the dwarf with his dark brows drawn low over his light brown eyes. "Now, you listen here, dwarf…" he started to bark. Miriana smiled sweetly as she interrupted. "You know? He's right! I really could use a bath and you sound like you're desperate for a break. You can debrief me in the tub, my love."

"Nothing wrong with a clean finish, eh?" a courtier quipped as she drifted by them on her way to the door.

Cullen's focus went from the lady and back to his beloved, his stormy expression gaining a new target. "That's the second odd comment I've received from strangers in the last couple of days and you know that I'm never around here unless I'm seeing you." He took her hand and led her to her quarters as he continued to speak. "I have asked Varric if he is aware of anything and I mentioned it to Leliana but she only chuckled and said something cryptic about 'bored people.' It's one thing for her to remain silent but Varric will talk your ear off. I'm worried."

"I'll work on Varric while I'm here. I suppose I might stick around for a week or two!" she laughed ironically. Usually she only lingered a few days at most so a week was a fine stay indeed. Cullen hugged her and reached for the second door to her suite.

"Close your eyes, my lady. I will steer you into your abode and hopefully, you will approve. Thankfully, one of Leli's scouts spotted you and gave me an accurate time of arrival. I was able to plan…" He led her into the room and stopped, his voice low and husky with emotion as he murmured, "…this. I love you, Miriana."

The opulent room was filled with flowers many, many bunches of fresh flowers of every variety, their heady scent filling the room. There were even rose petals scattered upon the bed, tens of scented, flickering candles lit on every surface. The fireplace was welcoming, crackling happily away and potpourri simmered from a pot over the flames. She was awestruck as she walked around the room, sniffing flowers and fingering the velvet petals. Miriana did not normally allow herself to enjoy softer, feminine things in her life because of her life on the road, running the Inquisition and being the figurehead she had become. Such frivolities were a rare and pleasurable delight but having them presented to her by her beloved… Who had vanished from view for a moment.

Unaware of his disappearance, she turned and started to tell him how she felt when he stepped back out of the place he'd disappeared to and held the door wide, revealing her bathroom. "You desired a bath, my love? Ask and you shall receive."

If her jaw had been capable of it, it would have fallen to the floor.

A couple of weeks after moving into Skyhold, she had jokingly requested a marble tub from Josephine and upon her arrival from a lengthy scouting mission, she was startled to find a huge marble tub, complete with special, dwarven-made pumps and brass fixtures for bringing hot and cold water directly into the tub and a plug for releasing it into the cistern. It had some issues sometimes like when air got into the pipes and caused an explosion of water upon whomever was unlucky enough to be in the blast zone. Or the time the pipes froze and had to be slowly warmed by the dwarves in charge of maintaining the technology to prevent them from bursting. And they creaked sometimes.

Usually, though, the technology worked beautifully. Cullen's excuse for living in her quarters as much as he lived in his office (Varric be damned) was to keep water flowing through the bath fixtures. He really did it because he loved waking up in her bed even when she wasn't home but he only said so to her. Cullen was an extremely private man who nevertheless enjoyed his secret pleasures. The look on her face filled him with great pride as he watched her very slowly walk toward the bathroom, entranced.

There were many, many more candles of every shape, color and size, dancing upon the basin, on a stool, flickering upon a board covering the privy and flowers had also spread into the bathroom and floated in the tub of hot, richly scented water. Miriana leaned forward and let the aromatic steam wash over her as her delicate fingers swirled the soothing liquid. When she looked back up at him, there were tears in her eyes. "This… You did all of this? For me?"

He shrugged out of his armor and hauled off his coat as she walked back into the bedroom. "Yes. I had some help from Josephine for acquiring the flowers and candles, Cassandra supplied the idea for the rose petals in the bed and the bath and Leliana kept me posted on your arrival. Not exactly a group effort but they did assist me. The idea for the scented candles and…other…things were entirely my own."

"Nobody set it up for you? I'm just… I don't… Maker… I'm rendered speechless!"

Pleased, he pulled off his boots and chuckled softly. "Maker, no! It is bad enough people know that we are- intimate- but they don't have to know all the sordid details. Some things should remain sacred, should they not?" He was down to his pants alone by this point as he reached out to her and undid the layers of fabric, silverite mail and fur-trimmed leather that made up her traveling armors. The front of his breeches was tented, his desire very obvious even to the casual observer.

As his deft fingers moved to unbutton, unbuckle and untie her attire, he bestowed upon her frisky, flirtatious kisses. Miriana didn't dress like a typical circle mage, preferring a light armor consisting of leather breeches, tunic, some kind of mail and a coat that moved with her body rather than robes, something he rather enjoyed about her. Plus, the challenge of removing each layer was a pleasant, sensual process, one they both enjoyed, especially as he reached that last layer, a silky chemise that acted to prevent her pert nipples from chaffing on the restrictive leather vest that bound her breasts beneath her outer garb.

His fingers slowly caressed her nipples and teased the hard red points through the gossamer fabric with his thumbs as his lips worked their way across her throat. Miriana murmured to him as she leaned into his gentle, erotic touch, "Nobody has ever done anything like this for me before. You're like every noble girl's dream come true, Commander Cullen. You know that, don't you?"

He grinned and slid his lips across hers in a velvet kiss. Without removing them, he murmured against her, "Is that so?" His pants had now joined his boots upon the floor, his semi-hard erection inviting her to touch it, which she did.

Then she looped her bare arms around his neck and kissed him before pulling away so that their eyes met. "When I was little, I used to fantasize about a strong, handsome hero showering flowers upon me and raining kisses upon my lips and eyelashes. But then I was taken away to the circle and those fantasies were dashed, disposed of and buried as my lessons and my job took precedence. When sex happened, it was fleeting, an impassioned coupling in a closet or dark corner, sometimes with a Templar, usually with a fellow mage. Sometimes things got…heated… Ahem, unintentionally so in my Application of Controlled Elemental Magics for Therapeutic Use class. Often such applications of magic was used by mages to, eh, aid in sexual stimulation, personal or otherwise. As I've shown you." Cullen chuckled and helped her with the remainder of her clothing. The coin he'd given her several weeks back gleamed on a silver chain around her neck, between her breasts. It was the only jewelry she allowed herself to wear. It filled him with bliss to see it against her soft skin.

"In the circle, romance is forbidden. Children are forbidden. Love… Love is forbidden. And yet, here I am, a freed mage in love with a man, my 'hero,' who is showering me with flowers, raining kisses upon my eyelashes and lips and is about to join me in the bath he planned just to make me happy. You've made my dream come true, Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford, and I don't know how to thank you. I… Maker, I love you. I'm so, so much in love with you that I feel near to bursting with… Whoa!"

That moment was when he swept Miriana's naked body up into his arms and carried her to the bathroom wearing a loving smile that warmed his eyes. After he lowered her gently into the hot water and slid in across from her, Cullen wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumbs before kissing her mouth. "You're home, alive, my love. It is the only 'thank you' that I need. Every time you leave, I fret until you walk back into that courtyard. Your letters give me some small measure of reassurance but they are nothing compared to having you in my arms. _You_ are my gift and _you_ are all I need. I love you, Miriana."

She rose to her knees and pressed her body against his, kissing him deeply while her right hand reached under the sloshing water for his cock, which was helpfully growing firm without assistance from her. It had been in a pleasing state of semi-arousal since she first pressed her body against him when he met her at the gate. He moaned as those expert fingers curled around the thick shaft and moved slowly to the thick, bell-shaped head. Miriana had had larger men and smaller men but few men had the aesthetic beauty that Cullen's muscular body and beautifully shaped penis possessed. There were battle scars but they only added to the exquisite man whose lap she now straddled as she sought to plunge him deep inside her.

But the hasty attempt caused him to unexpectedly slide under the water, forcing both to become momentarily submerged while more water sloshed onto the floor. Laughing, the amorous pair burst from bathwater with Miriana's hair blocking her eyes and both spitting out water. It smelled good but, Maker, the taste was foul! "Maker bless you, that was wonderful," Cullen laughed as he planted his lips against hers in a funny, playful kiss. "I needed that laugh, love. Should we focus on bathing or are you determined to- Never mind." He was inside her, her hips slowly grinding as he stopped laughing and focused on Miriana's hot, glistening torso in front of him. She was obviously smug, pleased with her success. The water in the tub rose and fell with each motion between them and his mouth found her nipples while his fingers stroked her clitoris. She closed her eyes and moaned softly, her hands alternating between touching her breasts and running though his thick, wet hair.

Heavy-lidded violet eyes narrowed in growing desire, Miriana felt Cullen's left hand squeeze her left buttock and his teeth and tongue teased her breast, devouring her nipple and stimulating her thoroughly with his fingers until she could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Her body was quivering as the sensations rippling up from her submerged pubis filled her from there to her ears. "Fuuuuuuuck!" she moaned as their grinding, pulsating thrusts quickened. Cullen controlled the action, like he usually did even when she was on top; relinquishing control to him was always a nice change now that she was in charge of the Inquisition. And he never failed to pleasure her in the process.

"Does this feel good?" he whispered against her throat. She nodded wordlessly; she had no words at all in this moment. He was a tender and attentive lover, a man for whom his partner's needs exceeded his own. Though she did her level best to meet him half way, Cullen never met half way; for him, it was all the way or he felt bad. Thus far, he hadn't had reason to feel that way and she never had to worry about self-release save on the road without him or as a part of their lovemaking. Her fantasies were always of him, of them, of this. In a way, even when they were apart, he made love to her through memory and dreams of his ardent hands and lips upon her body.

Only when she was crying out in multiple waves of frenzied euphoria did Cullen allow himself those last few intense thrusts that would finish himself off inside her. He crushed her body against him, his face buried between her breasts as he came, the slowly cooling water sloshing lightly against them as he moaned, face red and body quivering tightly against her. "I love you," he whispered hoarsely. "Maker, you're beautiful…so damned beautiful…"

When it was over, they disengaged their bodies and Cullen encouraged her to sit on her bottom facing away from him. She loved this part. He adored just washing her soft, reddish-gold hair and she treasured those times when he washed it. The way his fingers leisurely massaged her scalp, rubbed the floral-scented soap through her hair, base to end, both relaxed and excited her. Sometimes, she touched herself intimately while he cleansed her hair, something he rather enjoyed and enjoyed watching her do during lovemaking.

She remembered back when they were first starting out as lovers the first time Cullen had asked her masturbate across from him while he watched, his own hand on his shaft. It had startled her, being something nobody had ever asked her to do. "I want to learn what makes you aroused the most so that when it is my turn and I must use fingers instead of my tongue that I do you justice. And, ah, I really do just love watching your body and watching your release. It will hopefully seed my mind with happy dreams rather than nightmares when I sleep at night, or so one would hope." It then occurred to her that watching him do it to himself thrilled her in return.

She sighed against him as he poured water over her head and rubbed out the rest of the soap. "I'm not letting you go, you know," she muttered as they switched positions, her breasts pressed against his shoulders and her hands kneading soap into his soft, wet waves of blond curls. He reached up and squeezed her right nipple playfully. "Not ever!" she declared.

"As if I would allow it, my lady. Dare I say you're stuck with me? I am yours, my lady, as you desire."

"To which I will say, 'Good! As it should be.'" She rinsed his head thoroughly and unstopped the bath tub with her toe as she rose to her feet. By now the water was getting chilly and both were eager to climb into the inviting, petal-strewn bed. Miriana looked down at the floor and sighed at the massive puddle that had consumed the stone tiles. Cullen threw a few towels down to absorb it and then turned to grin at her as he rubbed her head with one towel then wrapped her body in a second. Once again, he swept her off her feet, kissing her sensuously as he carried her to the rose-petal strewn bed and laid her out in it. He laid her down upon it and carefully removed the towel from her damp skin, revealing her graceful curves, flat stomach and long, graceful legs. He sighed as he always did when his eyes drank her in.

The man had a keen eye for tender romance that belied the stern, brave military man he presented to everyone else. This contradiction was something only his fellow advisors were aware of outside of this room, and even they had only an inkling of just how sweet he was. It was a side of himself that he hid well and preferred to keep hidden save from her. She enjoyed knowing his secret, especially as guarded as he was.

"So, Commander… The briefing…?" she asked with a teasing smirk, arms above her head and her bosom thrust high for his pleasure as he supported his body above her on his hands, the bed covers pushed aside and their bodies exposed to the fire-warmed air. His amused expression was intent as his answer was to first lower his mouth to hers and then slowly work his lips down her naked body until they stopped between her thighs.

She decided the debrief could wait until morning as he devoured her luscious lower lips, her stiff clitoris and plunged his tongue inside her, sucking and nibbling her until she couldn't think about anything but him.

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

_Sinquisition_

Chapter 2 

"_The First Position"_

Cullen looked down at the gloriously naked woman lying with limbs akimbo and the fine, soft red fabric that snaked along her body starting from between her legs and ran over one hip across her taut belly and partially covering one firm breast while leaving the other bare. Her position was feline, graceful and unexpectedly erotic to his smitten gaze as he committed her beauty to memory. He couldn't say how long he sat on the bed wearing his pants and nothing else, just watching her, drinking her in as if she was water in the desert and himself a parched man.

Dreamily, the violet eyes fluttered open, unfocused, and she smiled as she reached her fingers out to touch his cheek. He caught them in his hand and spread light kisses over the delicate digits, his eyes never leaving hers. "Good morning, beautiful," he breathed softly.

"Mmm… Mornin'." Yawning, Miriana arched her back and stretched her arms over her head, the sheet dislodging and leaving both breasts exposed, dark nipples pointing upwards at slight angles away from one another. He enjoyed watching her body move, the muscles in her arms, stomach and legs lengthening and contracting while her breasts swayed languidly from side to side. She very much resembled the minx cat he often referred to her as when she was eager for love making. When the stretch was done, she smiled up at him. "You sleep okay?" she asked.

"Of course. It's always better when I've got you in my arms at night. The nightmares are kept mostly at arm's reach, it seems. And you?" He leaned over her and touched his lips softly to hers while his hand cupped her cheek and stroked the sweet flesh.

"Better than I have in weeks! Our tents are lovely but nothing beats this bed… Or you." Her arms went around his neck and they laid there, tenderly caressing one another's mouths and enjoying the taste and scent of the other. "Make love to me, Cullen…"

He hesitated as he pulled back slightly, impressed by her eagerness. "I brought us breakfast, my love. Aren't you hungry?"

"You have no idea…" Her arms tightened around his neck as she consumed his mouth in a hungry, wet kiss and pulled him down with her into the embrace of the bed's wildly askew covers. He didn't argue, he didn't pull away, he returned her starved lips for starved lips. Cullen kicked away his pants and eagerly straddled her.

As he sucked her neck and shoulders, his passion setting her desire aflame, Cullen asked, "Wouldn't you like me to use my tongue on you first?" he asked breathlessly, his cock solid as it laid long and heavy against Miriana's flat belly. She reached for it and shook her head. "No. Don't worry about me; I have my ways of getting off. Just…fuck me. I want you!"

Despite the lack of romance in the lust she felt for him in the moment, Cullen actually liked it when Miriana asked him to aggressively take her and thrust himself into her until he was sated. He was never rough but he had a greatly satisfying way of taking her hard, his body eagerly giving her what she craved until they were panting, sweat-soaked and exhausted on the bed, his desk or wherever they happened to be. "Your wish, my lady, is my pleasure," he muttered in his low voice, a lascivious smile on his face.

For this more carnal act, he reached for the jar of lubricant she always kept on the nightstand in easy reach of the bed and coated himself liberally with it. He then grabbed her by her shoulder and leaned in close to her ear. "Do you want me to _take_ you, Miriana?" he whispered hoarsely.

"Yes…" she breathed as he flipped her over (gently but rougher than he usually did) so that she was face-down on the bed, her lower arms folded under her torso, supporting her upper body. His hands then jerked her up by her hips until her ass was in the air and she was on her knees, her outer lips flush with her thighs and the inner lips of her pubis red and open, begging to be filled by him. He couldn't resist himself as he lowered his mouth to the red blossom in the midst of all the pale, white skin and teased her with his tongue. Maker, she smelled good! And she was so wet she practically dripped with arousal, something he happily discovered when he probed her with his fingers.

Cullen gripped her hair in one hand while he steadied himself by grabbing ahold of her hip with the other and rammed his erection deep inside of her, hard and slow at first but his pace quickened with his heartbeat. She gasped as his hand held the back of her head, carefully trying to avoid hurting her, while he thrust himself into her repeatedly, the act forceful and rough as he focused on his own pleasure. While he bucked into her, sliding out slowly then jamming himself home, her breasts dragged along the soft covers of the bed sending terrific sensations singing from her nipples throughout her body. Cullen heard her moan and knew he was doing exactly what she wanted him to do. Even for them, sex could be routine and it was a struggle sometimes to mix it up, make it interesting even as much as they enjoyed it. This rougher sex helped.

His immediate need sated, Cullen disengaged himself from her and rolled her over onto her back. Miriana was smiling brightly as her fingers strayed lower, between her thighs and she began to pleasure herself much to his great interest. He loved watching her finger her clit for her own pleasure and she knew it, relishing the way he watched her, his lips moistened by his tongue as she drew close to climax.

He couldn't help himself.

Even after already going off inside her, Cullen couldn't let her do it herself. It was the noble thing to do, finishing her off with his tongue and fingers. But of course, even as she came, his body was eager for another round.

It was because of this that breakfast cooled and he was late for troop inspections in the barracks. He gave no excuse, of course. But the knowing smiles from his men did little to make him feel better about being late in the first place.

Miriana, meanwhile, walked through Skyhold and listened in on the conversations of the courtiers as they gossiped about everything from Celene's newest hairstyle to things more interesting followed by a lot of bizarre metaphors but no clue what they meant. They did seem sexual in nature, however.

A few minutes later, someone nudged her and murmured, "The alabaster obelisk rises from between the stones…" Before she could ask, he was gone. Then a servant walked by with a bounce in her step as she breathed, "Bread-soft and hot like pancakes fresh from the griddle- and equally delicious." A man said to his friend, "The Twin Mountains rose above the white land, their peaks topped with rich, red berries." To which his friend replied, "Indeed! He devoured those berries like a starving man seeking forbidden fruit."

Just when Miriana was about to press Varric for information again, a woman ran into her, sending both women to the floor and her purse flying from her hand, voiding itself of its contents. The women gathered all the items and laughed over the accident as they put everything back into the leather bag, ending with a small, thick book. Miriana reached for it and stared at the title and its intriguing cover, a highly sexualized (and graphically generous) parody of what she assumed was herself in scant clothing, barely a scarf that covered the choicest bits with a blazing staff in her hand held high and an equally scantily clad version of Cullen, his dimpled ass visible above a thin sheer, his powerful arms clinging to her leg. It was actually rather funny. "'Rise of the Sinquisition…?' What is this?" she asked.

The woman giggled as she waved off Miriana's attempt to give it back. "It is horrible! Hah hah! Smutty, disgusting little parody of the Inquisition and especially you and the commander. It changes your names slightly but the intent is clear. Still, it is a delicious read, full of awful metaphors that have us all talking. I had no idea you and the commander were so creative- until now. The details! So juicy! I must ask, your worship… Is he as good in real life as he is in this?"

"Probably better," she heard herself say as she thumbed through the pages. It seemed as if every chapter was a sex scene, each scene unique from the one before it. She looked up from the book and smiled at the Orlesian lady as she said, "So, everything people have been saying…? To me? To the Commander…?"

"Yes! From the book! Terrible, terrible, no? We mean you no disrespect, your worship! It is just… It makes you more real to the rest of us, you see."

"More…real? But I'm standing in front of you! I can't get more real than that, My Lady!"

The Orlesian courtier shook her head, giggling and flustered for a moment as she sought the words she wanted to say. "No, your worship. That is not what I mean. I mean, basically, it makes you someone we can relate to. We appreciate the distraction from your otherwise lofty reality. Do you understand?"

"I…think so? I do not think the Commander would agree, however. Thank you for being candid. May I buy your book from you?"

"No, your worship. You may keep it as a gift. May it do for your love life what it did for mine!" Miriana thanked the woman with a smile and clutched the modest tome in her hand tightly. She had a bone to pick with Varric because she was certain he knew about the tome. She was positive. How could he not?

She found him seated at his table, a group of young nobles clustered at his feet and staring up at him with wide eyes as he told one of his stories. Miriana held up the book with her fingers and waved it at him, making certain that he noticed the cover. Immediately, he dismissed his group with a flurry of apologies and an excuse about being needed by the Inquisition as Miriana dropped the book on the table. It hit with a bang loud enough to startle a few nearby courtiers. "What is this?" she demanded. "And how long have you known?"

"Ahhh… What? Oh! That! Right. Well, I would have said something last night but you looked like shit and I didn't think Ser Grumpy-Pants would approve of my information. He's…touchy about those things, you know. And he looked like he needed you. Sorry about that."

"Where did it come from? Who is this author, I. C. Tittes?"

"Trying to find that out. The publisher is out of Antiva, no surprise there. That's where most of the raunchiest stuff comes from. As far as the author goes, clearly it's a nom deplume. An alias. And not clever. I have people working on it. Soon as I have information on the author, I'll set about doing whatever you want done. And before you ask, no, I didn't write this shit. It's worse than Swords and Shields! And if I had, I would never own up to it."

"Such a help, Varric!" Miriana sighed. "And how do I tell Cullen?"

"The same way you told me? Drop the book on his desk and hope he doesn't use it for kindling?" Varric offered helpfully. Miriana laughed and playfully cuffed his arm. "Good luck!" he chuckled.

As she walked through the keep, she noticed the odd sideways glances, the whispered quotes from the book, phrases like "Kneaded flesh like a baker rolls his dough." In between listening to the odd comments, Miriana flipped through the pages idly, her eyes drifting across the pages and her mind taking note of some of the things she read. At one point, she stopped in her tracks and started laughing, her hand covering her mouth. "Maker's breath! What is this crap?" she said.

As she left the building, intent on reaching the barracks where Cullen would be running through inspections and drills with the men, Cassandra ran to her, grabbed her arms and gasped, "It's gone!"

"Huh? What?" Miriana blinked at the Seeker, trying to steady herself against the woman's determined grip. "My manuscript! I was writing- I was trying to write, anyway, something dirty to satisfy my…" She looked down into Miriana's amused, amethyst eyes and backed away, trying to gain back some of her lost dignity.

"You wrote a manuscript? Naughty stories, Cassandra? I am impressed!"

"It was not what you think. It was just a collection of fantasies, odd notes and such. I was working them into something cohesive but when we returned last night, I checked my desk and they were gone! I keep them locked in a drawer. Nobody knows about them. I am furious! I should have hid them better… If it gets out, what I wrote…" Cassandra was wringing her hands, pacing, her cheeks flushed with anger.

Miriana looked down at the book in her hand and started to suggest that maybe the two were related but she hesitated, decided that a month was not long enough for a thief to publish a book from a few odd notes and such. Instead, she handed the thick tome to Cassandra and said, "Look what's been making the rounds since we left."

"Yes… Someone left a copy in the barracks. I have read a small portion of it but it is truly awful. Even Varric cannot claim ownership to such nonsense. I thought, perhaps, it had borrowed from my notes but the timing is bad. And it does not sound familiar to me. I am unimpressed. I've only read a few pages though so time may tell. If I find out that the author of this bullshit is my thief, I will judge him myself!" She handed the book back to Miriana and smiled weakly. "Thank you for listening, my friend. I sincerely hope this does not lead back to me. If it does, you have my apologies in advance."

"I won't blame you, Cassandra. You were with me, after all. I do need to show this to the Commander, however."

"He will not be pleased."

"No… But at least he will know. That much will give him peace of mind- as he plans to locate and burn every last book in Skyhold!" The women shared a bit of laughter at the thought of Cullen doing his level best to eliminate the offending tomes.

"The cock has no feathers and blunted beak," someone said a few feet away. Miriana sighed. "It crows when you touch it."

"Maker's breath!" she moaned as she headed for the barracks, strangers quoting from the book as she walked by them.

She found Cullen quickly enough as he stood in the barracks, alone thankfully, looking over a donation of rather excellent gear shipped over from Redcliff. "Hello, love… I think I got a good clue about the quotes we were overhearing. Interested?"

"Aye but not here. Have you had lunch? We could eat in my…" she handed him the book as his voice trailed off. He stared at the cover, flipped through the pages and looked back at Miriana with an expression of confusion mingled with carefully concealed rage. "Where did you find this?"

"An Orlesian lady had it. She gave it to me. It's… Pretty interesting."

"This _book _makes a mockery of our efforts with the inquisition and my relationship with you yet you do not seem justifiably enraged as I am," he growled as he shook the book at her. "This can_not_ be allowed to stand without finding the perpetrator and making them pay."

She leaned against the door frame and nodded to the tome in the commander's hands. "Read the first chapter…" she said with a chuckle. "It's six pages, most of it is…" she cleared her throat, "_very_ interesting."

"I am not reading this crap. No. We destroy it, it and every last copy we can find in and around the keep," he snapped as he got ready to dispose of the book in a nearby brazier.

"Cullen, stop. I mean it. Skip to the third page at least and read it, please."

He glared at her but his gaze softened as she smiled at him. Maker, but she could warm his heart with the barest touch of her eyes on his. "Fine. For you but you alone." His eyes skimmed the page, reading each word and trying to make sense of it. "What is it you want me…to…uh… _Maker_…!" His eyes snapped up to meet hers, huge light brown orbs filled with shock. "The _war-table_? The bloody _war-table_?"

"There are more creative positions in the book but the first position is on the war table. It's very well described, as if by someone who was intimate with it, don't you agree?" she said with a sly smile as she slid around to stand beside him, her soft voice sending shivers down his spine.

"I wouldn't describe any of this as 'well-anything.' But, it does have an interesting… What am I saying? No! This is madness. They called me 'Commander Cummen' for crying out loud! And you, Inquisitor Titiana! I will not even consider…" But his eyes went back to the book and skimmed the page again. His bewhiskered chin snapped up, their eyes met, his wide with amazement. "You're actually thinking about this, aren't you, Minx? Are there more…positions like this?"

"A lot more, I'm afraid," Miriana said with a chuckle.

"I don't know what's worse… The fact that someone wrote about this or the fact that I am entertaining the idea of trying it. Are we so bored with our...personal…lives that we must seek inspiration from a novel of dubious origins and worse writing?" Cullen swept her into his arms and kissed her. "I don't need this drivel to be creative, my love."

"Of course not," she laughed. "But wouldn't it be fun trying? I doubt half these descriptions are even possible! I just think the attempt alone would be something of an amusing game we can play with the pass being worked on for the next couple weeks while I'm home."

Culled mulled it over and scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had Miriana thought was precious. "You know that if any of them involve us and any other people I reserve the right to refuse. And implements in my… In places. No. Just…no. Some…eh…t-toys and maybe other things of that, eh, that nature, perhaps, but… _Maker_… I cannot believe I'm considering this."

Miriana took him by his coat and pulled him against her for a long, slow, wet kiss and murmured, "Can you imagine what making love on the war-table would do to your fellow advisors if they ever found out? The scandal! Why, they would be mortified!"

He held her against him, his nose pressed to hers and he grinned. "The best part of it would be if they _never_ found out but we knew and laughed at it during strategy sessions. A secret joke between us…" The thought of such a secret rendezvous was much too delicious for Cullen to ignore. He frowned, gritted his teeth and spoke before he could stop himself. "Fine! You talked me into it! I am apparently susceptible to your witchy ways, woman. I'll send for you when I can figure out how we're going to attempt this act of insane debauchery." Under his breath, he muttered something about not believing he was actually considering what he was considering as he leaned forward for another oral caress and backed her up against the door frame as he consumed her mouth with hungry kisses. Miriana reached for his crotch and squeezed him, hard, enflaming his desires and sending shivers of bliss down his spine.

"Don't make me wait too long," she murmured against his open mouth.

As he was about to reply, one of his captains approached and averted her eyes respectfully. "Commander, Hart Company is ready for inspection." 

Flustered, Cullen backed away from his lady and tugged on his pants, straightened his coat and nodded as crisply as he could. Miriana smiled. "Of course, Captain. I'm on my way." He looked back at Miriana as the officer waited.

"Forgive me. I have…"

"I know."

"Soon," he murmured as he touched her cheek and then followed the officer to yet another company inspection.

"Soon," she repeated after his retreating back. She turned back to the book and murmured, "First position…" Miriana opened the book and tore a corner of the page where the position began and wrote, "Pos 1," at the top of the page followed by "Wartable" underneath.

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Sinquisition

Chapter 3

"_The First Position, Tabled"_

_Her mouth consumed Cummen's love-staff, tongue licking it in broad circles as if it were flavored ice on the verge of melting. His body stiffened, his neck craned and beads of diamond-like sweat glittered on his face, chest and arms, making him gleam like a jewel-encrusted statue of horny masculinity in an Orlesian garden. His moan was low and long, like the fat slab of man-meat she devoured hungrily. When release came, it was exquisite, passionate and filled her with the juices of his lust. She drank…_

"Inquisitor?"

"Huh? What?" Miriana said as she snapped the book shut and stared wide-eyed at Josephine.

"I have the information on the next prisoner we've readied for judgment. His is a special case, it appears. I would not usually suggest leniency for such a crime as his but this case begs for kinder approach. Afterwards, I believe, your duties- and mine- will be complete for the day. I have plans this evening with an attractive young lord from Orlais. He may just be seeking bragging rights for his association with the Inquisition or support for his holdings but he is handsome and it could lead to… Ah-hem. Further entertainments if I play my cards correctly. And you know I always play my cards correctly." She smiled as she spotted the book. "Is it interesting? I have been too wary of it. I hear it is more hype than substance, a thing for bored women pleasure themselves to."

Miriana laughed and looked back down at the page. _…from the spigot of his loins, grabbed his jewels and squeezed them until he gulped air with each low moan. Sated on his body's thick vintage, Tittiana then leaned forward and nipped at his lips playfully like a golden puppy dog, delighting in the contortions of his face as her fingers pierced his… _"It's the most dreadful thing I've ever read but the sex… It's mostly sex anyway but it's quite good. At least in theory. The descriptions and the outlandish positions are ridiculous, such as this gem: 'She drank from the spigot of his loins, grabbed his jewels and squeezed them until he gulped air with each low moan,'" she admitted with a chuckle. "Cullen wants all the copies burned."

"Ah. Understood. Well, that may be easier said than done. Your writer has been busy spreading her obscene version of your romance far and wide, if the copies we turned up in Orlais mean anything. And the author may have ties in Rivain, according to one of Leliana's contacts."

"That was fast...!" Miriana said, impressed. "How did you manage that?"

With musical laughter, Josephine smiled and explained, "Cullen's been bothered about the quotes from the courtiers for a couple weeks now. We've been tracing the source ever since his first complaint, you see. That it was a _book_…! Varric advised that we avoid telling him until more information was known. He gets testy about that sort of thing."

"And how!" Miriana chuckled as she shook her head slowly. "He would absolutely hate this!" she said, holding the book up. "But it's like overly-spiced but very rich food: it's too hot to eat but the more you eat, the more you crave because, though it's so awful, the spice is addictive. The sex scenes being the spice, of course."

"A more eloquent description I've never heard of something so questionable of taste. They're that good?" Josie breathed with a delighted smile.

"Mmm… Descriptions are cliché and insane but you wonder, you know, if they're possible, at least a bit."

"Thinking about trying them out?"

"Josie! Really! Cullen would never…!"

The ambassador laughed and leaned forward, her smile infectious. "You know you want to; your blush hides your intent but I can see right through it, as my art is the reading of people. _Do_ let me know all the exciting details if you decide to go through with it, especially the more ludicrous positions, no matter if they work or not. And be careful of our fine commander as we will need him in one piece for the battles ahead."

Miriana's retort caught in her throat as Josie left to prepare the next case, a young man of perhaps sixteen or seventeen who was caught stealing mounts, including one temperamental dracolisk. After handling his case, Miriana was done for the day, thank the maker! And with Josie taking the evening to woo some young noble, it meant their fanciful rendezvous would be achieved with less hassle than initially assumed.

She pocketed the book and headed out into the main hall where she sat down upon the massive Ferelden-style throne, the heavy, warm furs in the seat and arm rests comforting and plush against her as she watched the lanky, half-grown boy get escorted before her by two guards. Josephine was in her customary place, mobile desk in hand and she glanced down at her notes before addressing the audience and the Inquisitor in her clear, Antivan-accented voice. "Before you stands Gilfried, a boy from Denerim's Alienage who apparently has a gift with animals. He was caught stealing three of the Inquisitor's mounts, including a priceless dracolisk. It is noted that the beast is short-tempered, smells foul and bites without warning, posing a challenge even to experienced stable masters so the notion that anyone would attempt such a theft was not considered. The beast allegedly came without protest when the boy liberated him from its stall, most impressively. The boy attempted to steal the animals in broad daylight and only Blackwall caught him, red-handed as it were due to the dracolisk finding fault with Gilfried's attempts at lashing out at Blackwall, with whom the beast was familiar. He was bitten badly enough to require stitching of his hand by the surgeon."

Miriana looked the boy over and noticed one startling thing about him; his ears were blunted, not pointed at all. A rough, pink scar marked the place on each ear where the tips had been roughly and cruelly excised. "You're an elf!" she said. "But what happened to your ears? Were they… cut?"

The boy, understandably humble, bowed his head before her. "Aye, milady. I was a slave shipped off to Tevinter from Denerim some years back. My owner did not like elves so he nicked the ears of all his elven slaves, no medicine for the pain. Just cut 'em off and if we lived, we lived. Died? No loss. My family was rescued by the Hero of Ferelden but I was not so lucky, being young. I was later bought by one of King Alistair's agents at the urging of m'da and brought back to Denerim where I fell into bad habits. I've been trying to help my family ever since in whatever way I could. Got into fencing exotic mounts, learned to listen to 'em, communicate with 'em. They come along willingly enough if they know why. Your Warden stopped me an' I put up a fight, scuffle broke out an' before I knew it, the guards had me pinned to the ground. The drac, he nipped my hand when I reached out to calm 'im."

Miriana leaned back, fingers steepled under her pursed lips as she considered her options. "Josephine, you suggested leniency…? Can he be reformed?"

The dusky-skinned woman bobbed her head and tapped the quill against her chin as she thought. "His motivations are entirely driven by a desire to aid his destitute family. We could conscript the boy into the Inquisition as the stable master's apprentice if the master agrees and he will pay restitution for his wasting our time in this court. As Bull says about the Qun, 'You should never throw away a good tool, even the rusty ones.'"

"Bull said that?" Miriana asked with a half-grin.

"For the most part, yes."

The Inquisitor sat up on her throne and leaned forward, violet eyes intent on the boy's face. "If we brought your family here from Denerim and gave you an apprenticeship under the watchful gaze of the stable master, will this convince you to stop stealing mounts? We'll even pay you for your work if you prove useful, though part of that will be paid back to us as restitution for your crime, a fine to remind you that thievery is wrong."

"On my honor, Mistress, my skills are yours if you aid my family!" the boy said excitedly, his eyes wide. Miriana felt a rush of joy wash over her as she leaned back in her chair with a smile on her face. She preferred judgments that helped the Inquisition and if she could help the perpetrator as well, it made her feel especially good.

She sat up straight and raised her voice as she delivered her judgment: "The boy will be remanded to the custody of the stable master where he will live and work per the stable master's discretion while paying off two hundred sovereigns for his poorly considered actions. The boy's family will be contacted in the alienage in Denrim and brought here until he either pays off his debt to us or the Inquisition itself is no more."

Josephine noted the final judgment into her log and smiled at Miriana as the boy was led to the stables. "An equitable solution, Inquisitor. I will send our agents east immediately."

With a yawning stretch, Miriana stepped down from the dais and smiled broadly. "Hopefully, he won't throw this opportunity away as the young sometimes do," Miriana said. "Are we done?"

After a quick glance at the itinerary for the day, Josie nodded and flashed her white teeth. "The rest of the day is yours, Inquisitor. And mine!" she added with a mischievous little giggle. With that, she headed up to her rooms, away from her office for a bath and a change of clothing, something Miriana was about to do when Cullen swept her into his arms for a quick hug.

"There you are. So, apparently Leliana will be interrogating a Venatori spymaster for a while so she will be a while extracting information from him I suspect. I watched the guards drag him from his cell into the interrogation room under her gaze while I concluded my inspections. She ordered the men to stand ready outside the door until she was finished, though for what I don't know as I did not linger. All we have to do now is give Josie an excuse to leave-"

"Already taken care of. I convinced a handsome young Orlesian nobleman to woo her and possibly bed her if she's willing in exchange for a potential boost in support for his family from the Inquisition. He's had his eye on her anyway so it was easy to arrange."

"You really are a naughty minx," he laughed as he kissed her forehead playfully. "Meet me in the war room in one hour. Wear something… Loose. A dress perhaps that," he leaned in close to her ear, "…laces up in the front," he whispered, "I want to see all of you without fussing around with buttons and whatnot."

Miriana leaned in and kissed his ear, her lips sliding along his jaw and down his neck as she murmured, "You do the same. Maybe that loose linen shirt Dorian got you? The one with the lace cuffs and laces up the front and lose the armor. Don't wear these boots, wear something simpler that you can get in and out of quickly," she said, plucking at his burgundy surcoat. "Though this on you, without armor or pants or _anything_ would be extremely sexy."

He grinned and kissed her eyelids and nose with teasing little flutters of his lips across her face. "One hour, my love. After that, we destroy that book and the evidence of our shenanigans with it."

"That so, my love?" Miriana murmured, watching him leave with a smile upon her face as he headed back to his tower, ignoring the man who said, "His sword curved upward to tease her misty maw," on Cullen's approach.

Less than an hour later, Cullen, who was dressed in elegant black breeches tucked into soft, lambskin boots of the same and a creamy, muslin shirt he wore tucked in and unlaced to his navel, stood in the war room breathlessly. He wanted to get this over with now that the anticipation had reached its peak. The hour was creeping by painfully slow and Miriana, who never failed to appear when asked, would be here at the appointed time. He just wished that the appointed time was now.

What they were planning… He looked back over at the war table, the ancient stump of a long-dead tree, once a symbol of elven peace now desecrated and polished through years of use, centuries of planning wars, and felt his heart lurch. It would bear further desecration at their hands and though the idea was abhorrent, it also sent a shiver of anticipation down his spine. He felt dirty for his body's immediate response and yet he felt little shame, which surprised him. Nervous, he reached back and rubbed his neck just as he heard the scrape of the heavy door behind him.

She arrived then and he spoke as he turned around before he saw her. "Thank the Maker you're here! I was beginning to…" Then he saw her.

Smiling, she closed the door and locked it, her right hand holding closed her own wispy shirt made of the same thin, fine material Cullen's was stitched from but without the lace cuffs. Then she opened the blouse and let it flutter to the floor where it pooled behind her as she leaned back against the door.

Miriana had her bare breasts thrust upward, looking sinfully alluring in a sleeveless, under-breast corset a darker shade of the color of her eyes that supported her breasts from the sides and underneath, exaggerating their size and pushing them together. The cold air of the chamber had an immediate effect on her as her nipples turned dark red and became extremely hard. Between her breasts was the coin he'd given her for luck, a loop for a chain welded to it and strung by silver around her neck. Cullen was transfixed, mesmerized by what he saw, unable even to meet her eyes as he stared at her torso with his breeches tented as far as they could go.

He approached her, pinned her against the door and leaned forward to kiss her lips, her neck and then down the curve of her breast bone and her high, prominent bosom, his touch resulting in the eruption of gooseflesh across her skin. Using fingers and tongue, he teased her breasts, played with them to her great pleasure and sucked the dark points until she softly moaned. His fingers on his left hand pushed up under the skirt and found to his shock that she wore nothing underneath, not even a slip or shred of small clothes.

As his fingers teased her from beneath, he murmured, "You crossed the hall…like this? Nothing under, just that shirt to hide your…?"

"Mmm-hmm. Thankfully, the room was dark or the courtiers would have been given a show, though I think they would have celebrated me for being so 'fashion-forward.' You know Orlesians. Speaking of show… Take off your pants and boots, free yourself for me. And open your shirt completely but don't take it off. I want to see all of you, too."

"Commanding the Commander, are we?" he murmured with a teasing half-grin, "If there is a place for sinners like me, I fear that I am about to plunge into it, head first," he murmured as he swept her up into his arms with a dramatic flourish, Miriana's long, lavender skirt flowing behind them as he carried her to the war table and sat her on the edge. There, he spread her legs wide and pushed the fine, floral-patterned material up to her waist, his eyes intent on the patch of red between her thighs.

Miriana leaned back on her elbows as Cullen carefully folded the fine fabric flat so that she could watch as he bowed his mouth to her moist, lower lips and teased her until she was senseless, the visual as exciting as sensations his actions caused. He used a tongue as deft as any rogue's skillful fingers at extracting sensations from her body she didn't even know she was capable of feeling. No other lover in her life had done this kind of lovemaking to her despite her dropping to her knees willingly enough for them. Cullen's skill was exquisite, practiced and he was eager to orally explore her every recesses, using his fingers and tongue interchangeably and delving into places that she would not have expected he would touch with either. Her body reacted with a torrent of unexpected lust, making her cry out in her surprise. He always surprised her and she adored it.

Perhaps it was their clandestine arrangement in this place of power or the insanity of what they were doing that drove this moment. Truly, the merest thought of the act taking place on the war table was scandal alone but actually doing it was such glorious blasphemy that it fueled their already heightened passions. If they could get away with it without being caught, it would make the whole event worth it- and maybe start a new dialogue between them that only they could understand, like the odd book quotes that haunted them like verbal spectres.

Eventually, Miriana's eyes fluttered closed and she felt the build-up of her pleasure reach a point of unexpected heights. Her legs went around his shoulders as he delighted in his oral manipulation of her body's ecstasy levels, which he deftly controlled. Just as the first waves of her orgasm filled the war room with her low moans, Cullen pushed himself to his feet and pulled Miriana's hips just off the edge of the table where he thrust himself into her, his fingers never ceasing what his mouth had begun even as he changed his focus from her to him. As he could have predicted, she was gloriously wet and he slid his thick, solid cock in and out of her easily, even as her orgasms caused little pleasurable squeezing, rippling sensations all up and down the length of his shaft.

The last few moments of her orgasm were met with his own, which he spent sucking happily upon her nipples and kissing her mouth as he thrust deeper into her, Miriana's thighs now up over his shoulders. Her arms swept around him in those last moments of their combined euphoria, holding him as his grinding, driving hips quickened until he came, their groins locked together as his sweat-soaked torso pressed firmly against hers. When he was finished, he collapsed on top of her as she fell backwards against the table, scattering the markers across the map, his cheek cradled by her corseted bosom and her fingers combing through his soft, damp curls. "I love you, Miriana. Maker, I'm a lucky man."

"I love you, too, Cullen Rutherford," she said as he positioned his chin on her chest, his light hazel eyes meeting her purple gaze as he embraced her tightly, his lips turned up happily. "Shall we have dinner and then continue this in my rooms?" she asked with a grin.

"I like that idea. But first. that damned book must be…" he started to say as she shook her head, a wicked grin on her lips. "What? But…? I thought we agreed to only do this one!"

Cullen pulled away from her and helped her down from the table, His arms around her, fingers continuing to caress her body as he kissed her long neck. They needed to get dressed but neither one wanted this moment to end. "Mmm, I made no such agreement, my love. The second position is even better, by the way," she teased as she wiggled her bottom against his crotch.

"Better than this one was…? Maker's breath, you can_not _be suggesting what I think you're suggesting, you insane woman! Do you fully intend to read that entire book and attempt to recreate every, er, _position_ in the…?" His voice trailed off as their eyes met and she grinned broadly. "You're bloody serious…?" Miriana nodded. His cheeks warmed hotly.

Just then, they heard the sounds of voices, Leliana and what sounded like Cassandra's, approaching the door. Miriana whispered, "Shit!" as she scrambled for their clothes, throwing Cullen's shirt and pants at him while she somehow managed to free the corset just enough to put her own shirt on underneath. The fashionable display of nipples was all the rage in Val Royeaux at the moment so the thin fabric that barely covered her high, dark points would be viewed as fashion-forward by the elite nobles in the hall once she exited the chamber on Cullen's arm, as striking a pair as any the people would see in the city. Assuming they could dress and flee the chamber without incident, that is.

Cullen, however, was struggling to get dressed. "Hurry!" Miriana hissed.

"I'm trying! Maker, unlock the door, Miriana, before they get suspicious!" He had his shirt on but he had just started to pull up his pants when the heavy door began to open…


	4. Chapter 4

Sinquisition

Chapter 4

"_Words Are Weapons Against Woe."_

When Leliana and Cassandra entered the War Room, Cullen was fully clothed and standing over the map, discussing a course of action with Miriana, who was equally focused on the map. They seemed a bit too absorbed in their strategizing, making the two women squint at them. "Hmm… Been busy, were you?" Leliana quipped as she picked up a crow marker and moved it to the proper place on the map.

Cullen, flush-faced and defensive, said, "Yes! Busy planning our next course of action! What else would we be doing in here?"

"Mmhmm. What action is that?"

"Our-the next move against Corypheus, clearly," he said, his hazel eyes on the map, avoiding her gaze.

She looked under the table and spotted two more markers, which she plucked from the floor and offered to him with a sardonic twist of her lips. "And these obviously indicate just how hard you were working," she murmured.

Miriana smiled and looked across at her blushing lover as she took his hand and pulled him toward the heavy door, out from under the disapproving glare of Cassandra. "We did enough _planning_, don't you agree, dear?"

Leliana grinned and threw Cullen's belt at him. "Don't forget this, Commander! You might need it later for-_something_," she purred as he caught it, his cheeks afire.

He walked out of the room on Miriana's heels and looked behind him as the door was closed behind them. "They know! They bloody know!"

"They think they know but they really don't know," Miriana said with a smile.

"You say they don't know what think they know but what if they really _do_ know?" he replied nervously as they walked through Josie's dark office, his hands hastily donning his belt.

"Then let them _believe_ they know what they don't know but actually do know," she said as she reached the door.

"Why should we let them believe they know what they don't know but might actually know because we have no proof they know, knowing they have no proof of what they know?" He followed her closely as she paused in front of him, forcing him to bump into her unexpectedly.

"Wait, what?" she asked, looking up at him.

Cullen scratched his neck and said, "Uh… I'm lost, too."

"You have to admit, that really was a lot of fun," Miriana said with a laugh. "What are we doing now?"

He leaned forward, pushing her against the wall of hallway and kissed her softly. "I have paperwork to finish. Surely you've duties of your own to attend to?"

Miriana nodded and brushed his cheek with her lips. "I do. Dinner tonight? My room?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Say, what exactly _is_ the second position?"

Miriana withdrew the book from her pocket and presented it him, the little tome opened to the right page. He looked it over and smiled, his eyes scanning each poorly written line. "Well, it's not too bizarre. The location is odd but not horribly so. After dinner, then, we will make the attempt on position number two. In the meantime, if you can keep pressing people for information on this, I'll appreciate it."

As Cullen's hand reached for the handle, Miriana stopped him. "Cullen, I realized that, while we were making love on the War Table, though the sex was exquisite, it lacked something."

"Hmm? Really? You didn't like how I-?"

She drew his tall, muscular body against her and held him tightly as she shook her head. "No, _you_ were brilliant but the narrative of the story, this story, you must admit is horrendous. We need to make it ours if we're going to do this, you know? Create our own narrative, fill it with our own goals and make it ours and ours alone. I don't just want to merely mimic these scenes, I want us to reinvent them altogether, keeping the spirit of each entanglement but with our own spin. Does it make sense?" Her hand was in his pants, stroking him slowly, building his desire for her.

Cullen nodded slowly as he enfolded her in his arms, hugging her tightly against him. "Hmm. You wish to roleplay," he said after a moment, his voice cautiously amused.

After a moment of consideration, Miriana smiled and said, "Sort of. Not exactly. Yes, we're playing a part but we are playing ourselves. We are playing a raunchier, kinkier version of ourselves so we'll need to add romance and… Purpose, I suppose, to balance it all out. The rope-sex scene, for example, will need something other than, 'Oh look! Rope! Let's fuck on it while we're suspended!'"

"_Rope…sex…scene_?" Cullen said, eyes wide.

"Position nineteen or twenty, I think. We have time. There's also the Antivan Milk Sandwich scene, which can be squeezed into another position along the way using the narrative we design. See where I'm going with this?" By now he was fully erect and she had his cock out of his pants between them, her fingers continuing to caress the thick shaft.

"What's an 'Antivan Milk Sandwich?'" he asked stiffly as he gazed at her like a wide-eyed deer caught in a hunter's sights.

"It's…fun. You'll see," she said with a playful laugh, as she lowered herself to her knees.

"It's a position?" he asked as his eyes followed her.

Miriana giggled and snorted before licking the head of his thick cock. "You could say that. Sort of. It's quite interesting. I've never done it and clearly you have never done it. You'll especially enjoy it, being a man and all. Maybe as much as you enjoy _this_…" She drew the length of him into her mouth until his cock tickled the back of her throat. He moaned softly, eyes half-lidded, his back shuddering against the wall. Miriana sucked him slowly, squeezing him with mouth and tongue until she could taste the first drops of his lust on the back of her tongue.

Cullen cringed but continued to let her suck on him, his cock throbbing in her mouth, eager for release. He resisted though, his need for sexual liberation eclipsed by his need for a slow, powerful orgasm. Miriana slid her tongue along the full length of his member, teasing the head in between gentle nips and powerful sucks. He couldn't resist any longer.

Unsure of what he was doing or how it would work, Cullen withdrew himself from her mouth and raised her dress before picking her up by her waist. "Hold onto me, love…" he whispered as he shoved her hard against the wall with a loud thud. It didn't hurt but it startled her, startled her almost as much as when his cock was forcefully shoved inside her body. She gasped, moaned and pulled out her breasts for him to nibble and suck on while he repeatedly thrust himself into her,_ fucking_ her. The man was glorious when he took control, she decided with a smile as she clung to him, breasts bouncing with each forceful push of his groin against hers.

He came suddenly, a grumbling gasp his only sound as he suppressed the loud, low moan he usually vocalized. But this was a hallway and on the other side of each door were people he did not want witnessing these intimate moments. As it was, he felt naughty doing it here yet… He had to admit that the thrill of possibly being discovered was not unpleasant.

Miriana sighed as she clung to him, the gratification of their unexpected debauchery in the hallway thrilling enough to send shivers throughout her body. This was something he never done before and she wanted more of it. "That was position twelve, I believe. I'll mark that off."

"There was a scene written for what we just did in the book?" he gasped as he lifted her off of him and set her back on her feet.

"Yep. And it was perfect, every bit of it. Maker… I love it when you're spontaneous," she murmured as she rearranged her clothes back to where they were when they entered the hall.

This discussion, such as it was, had made a mess of his composure.

She squeezed the thick head of his cock in her hand and grinned as she put it back into his pants. "About the second position... I was thinking that maybe you can, I don't know, do something romantic to have it make sense, hmm? You do romance very well."

"I'll consider it. Maker! You're a tease, you know that?" he complained as she withdrew her hand from his crotch.

With their clothing secured once again, they exited the hall and both waved to Josephine, who smiled at them as they parted company at the door. Then she headed for Varric. The dwarf looked up at her as she approached, his eyes noting her dress with a raised eyebrow. "Anything new?" she asked.

"You mean since you asked me this morning? Until my contacts learn the art of teleportation, I'm afraid you'll have to wait. You'll be the first to know the minute I have any news. So… Ah, nice dress," he said as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes looking her up and down.

Ignoring him, she pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "Who's been selling the books? The merchant… I'm wondering where he is getting his supply from."

"I don't know much about the merchant; they don't stick around long. The publisher is Antivan but you know that. Though it might be Rivaini. The marks are odd… See, each publishing house has a specific stamp. Like so." Varric opened his personal copy of Hard in Hightown and showed her the first page. "This copy is a first run print as evidenced by the publisher's mark. But yours, see, shows the Antivan mark but if you hold it under the light in a certain way, there's a dry stamp beneath it. Basically it's a watermark where the paper is moistened and then the dry, or inkless, stamp is pressed into the paper leaving an impression. It's very faint but definitely Rivaini. The Antivan mark is carefully applied later.

"My sources say the Antivan publisher may be a front but they have nothing solid yet. We'll keep digging, Sparky. Count on it. If they _are _using the Antivan publisher as a front, whomever is distributing these books is going out of their way to cover their tracks."

Miriana sighed and leaned back in her chair for a few moments while she considered Varric's words. The mystery was getting deeper with more and more questions to ask and fewer being answered. It frustrated her. Finally, she pushed herself up and out of the low chair with a sigh. "Keep me posted, Varric. I want that merchant. We get the merchant, we get the distributor, we get the author and we end this bullshit."

The dwarf squinted up at her with amusement twinkling in his eyes. "You can't tell me you two aren't enjoying the attention."

"It's awkward, Varric. It's like they're practically watching us make love. We find it disconcerting, especially Cullen. You know how insanely private he is," she muttered down at him.

"Fine, fine, I'll see what I can do. It isn't as if I don't have a million other things to do what with being the head of my family, representing the Tethras clan at the Merchant's guild meetings and the shit Leliana has me doing because I'm _me_. To make matters worse, I'm writing my romantic serial again for Cassandra. Now run along and do something inquisitory," Varric said, shooing her away with both of his gloved hands.

Miriana laughed and left the Dwarf to manage what tasks there were at Skyhold that needed her attention. She spent the remainder of the day in various small meetings with advisors, the acquisitions people, the blacksmith and the dwarf in charge of Skyhold's improvements, which were coming along slowly but surely. There were always little things to do during the course of her day, some dire, some of a more social nature with her inner circle and then there were those such as her visit to the infirmary, which was now a fully functioning hospital. She walked inside with a smile on her face, fingers clutched before her.

There was one man lying on a bed, a real bed, his bandaged head cradled by pillows. Cole sat near him, telling him stories from a book that lay open in his bony hands. Miriana saw it was a child's book, colorful drawings cheerfully emblazoned on each page above the writing.

The surgeon approached Miriana and touched her hand. "The fellow was blinded by a sulfur blast while excavating a path through the mountains in Exalted plains. He'll never see again so he lies here, healing, while that strange lad of yours tells him tales from his favorite childhood books. I haven't a clue where the boy is getting them or how he knows which ones to tell but it's fascinating to watch. Thoth is improving much more rapidly than I expected and I owe it to the boy."

"Cole… He wants to help people. It's all he knows. I've considered myself honored to have him join us despite the misgivings of some of my companions," Miriana murmured with a smile as she stood beside the taller woman.

"How could they object?"

"Because Cole is—different. He's not like other people and that makes so-called _normal_ folk feel awkward. But who's to say what normal is anymore?" The surgeon nodded and they watched as Cole folded the book and laid it down, his huge hat hiding his expression as he rose.

The boy said softly, "I will return tomorrow, Thoth, and I promise, I will talk to Madaline to maybe come see you. Her thoughts of you are many, varied, confused, love, hurt, sorrow for a loss she cannot understand but love, love stands out strongest. Love will bridge the void, brighten the chasm, flood the darkness."

The man nodded and swallowed hard before grunting, "See you then, lad. I think we're running out of books…"

"There will always be books to read but you will leave long before the last."

"So ye say. The surgeon will be the voice of that decision. But what I'll do after…" Thoth murmured as he nearly sank into silent despair. "I've been a soldier all my life. I've no wife, no family…"

Miriana walked over to the bed and stood beside Cole, a smile on her rosy lips. "Perhaps I can help with that. You do have a family, Thoth; you have us and maybe the girl Cole spoke of."

His wrapped head turned, ears seeking the source of the voice. "Who's that?"

"Inquisitor Trevelyan, soldier. You're a veteran, if memory serves right. You were in the Exalted Plains leading routing expeditions against the Venatori. You know them well, do you not?"

"Aye. Much too well, My Lady. I wish I could go back. Damn it! They said 'look away' but I looked, I blinked my damned eyes when they blew that tunnel open. My men and I were to scout the area beyond the tunnel for Venatori or wildlife, kill 'em and set up camp once the dwarves blew the rock to bits. Fuck it all, but I looked. I knew better."

"I understand your frustration, Thoth," Miriana said as she sat down on the bed beside him and took his hand. "But maybe you can help us yet. I will ask the Commander to come see you later. I think your experience dealing with the enemy might help us come up with a better military strategy when the time comes to rout them once and for all. Perhaps in the Western Approach…"

The man nodded slowly as he squeezed her hand tightly. "I just don't want to be a burden."

"You won't be, I swear it," Miriana said with a smile before lightly kissing his forehead.

Cole followed her as sherose from the bed and left, his hands clasped behind his back and his tall, awkward frame tilting forward ever so slightly as he walked with her. "You wish to speak with me about the book whose words have flooded the minds of the people. Even when they do not speak, they think of you and Commander Cullen in sweet embrace, lips on lips, hands on breasts, legs entwined, hot, heavy, sweat beading, passion building followed by exquisite pain that does not hurt…"

"Enough, Cole," Miriana murmured hoarsely. "It's embarrassing enough as it is.

"But the pleasure helps, Inquisitor!" he insisted as he moved around her, forcing her to look at him. "The book, the words, the words are weapons in their own right, words that pierce woe, drive out the darkness and invite the light! The people are distracted from their day, their fears flee at the thought of bodies, soft and hard, delicate and strong, pushing, thrusting, each kiss an escape from the world they know, each caress a journey across time to gentler days. This book, personal though it may be for you, makes people laugh! It makes people happy. How can that be a bad thing?"

Miriana stopped walking, peering up at him as he looked down at her from advanced height. "Do you know who wrote the book?" she asked.

He hesitated and lowered his chin. "I know—things. Yes. Some things, not all things, things with sails and cargo from across the leagues but names I have none. Only feelings, feelings of laughter and mischief and whisperings of making you both happy, making _everyone_ happy."

"The author or the book came from across the sea?" Miriana queried as Cole met her eyes. It was always difficult to look into his huge, round, pale-blue gaze because those eyes saw much more than what lay on the surface and you felt stripped bare of everything, everything down to your naked soul.

"Both… Inquisitor, please! To end the book ends the joy, ends the pleasure, ends the romance! Lovers coming at last together, hands gliding along hips and breasts, lips touching, biting, giggling, making babies, making love, fueling fires that burn deep within. Life! The book brings _life_ to Skyhold! I beg you, do not end it!" Cole pleaded, taking her hands, tears in his eyes.

Miriana smiled and squeezed his hands in return. "We won't—now. We only want to know where it began, who wrote it, _why_. It embarrasses Cullen, you see. He's very private, very shy."

"Cullen… His kiss brings you to your knees, his hands stoke the fire deep within your belly. You yearn for his seed but dare not allow the tree to grow for the Inquisition takes precedence over happiness. In his embrace is solace, solution, safety, searing, burning, beautiful, pale flesh on pale flesh. You love the way he feels when he enters you. He loves the way you feel when he penetrates you, your body and soul responding to his every touch but since the book… Since the book, you become more brazen. Fires kindled, fires lit, _fires aflame_! The torch has never been so bright, the head so large, the need to see the journey to its conclusion so much stronger than before. _This is good for you_! For _both_ of you!"

She could not argue with that, she thought as they once again began walking. "May I seek your help, Cole, in finding the answers we need?"

Reluctantly, he said, "I will not lie, Inquisitor, but my answers may not be what you expect."

Miriana reached up and kissed him on his ghostly cheek as she said with a chuckle, "Cole, they never are. I am curious… The merchant who sold the book…?"

"Traveling merchant, curious, sane but not sane, wealthier now than ever, coin from so many places, so many lands, she has seen more in one month than in a lifetime. She is better off now because of the book. She will return soon and you will have what you seek."

The Inquisitor laughed and shook her head. So, their merchant was a woman and a stranger to their usual group of merchants. The rest of his answer was predictably vague. "Thank you, Cole. You've been more of a help than I anticipated."

The rest of the afternoon into late evening was spent in her room, the book in her hands and her eyes reading each line, scanning the pages for new positions without being forced to dissect what little plot there was.

The knock came as Miriana was reading an especially interesting love scene that she doubted Cullen would appreciate much.

_Her pink, pointed tongue languished slowly around the drain of his puckered bowel, fingers flexing, gripping the huge berries that hung from his groin like engorged plums, his massive control rod hanging stiff and eager between them. He moaned like a tiger guarding its prey as her fingers plunged deep inside his puffed anus, his body eager for her to penetrate it. He was an instrument that responded to her touch…_

The knock came again at the door and Miriana scrambled from the couch, her long, flowing, many-layered nightgown fluttering behind her as she approached the door. The bodice was sheer, of course, her breasts clearly visible through the shimmering, gossamer fabric, which barely contained them behind twin squares of soft lavender silk. The guard on the other side blinked at them in stunned silence as she opened the door.

"My lady, ah, the commander wishes to see you. I have instructions… You might wish to don shoes and a robe as the air is brisk."

Miriana smiled slyly.

This was going to be a very good night…

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Sinquisition

Chapter 4

_You want to put what, where?_

_Sinquisitor Titiana languished against the soft hay, her naked body gleaming like a golden statue of Andraste, her back arched and her pert, pink nipples reaching for the shadowed ceiling. Cummen was naked as well, his hard muscles like the perfect, chiseled body of a god with the grace of a desire demon. He had his mouth between her thighs, his tongue ploughing through the wedge between the lips of her seeping, wet pussy, her clitoris throbbing against his tongue as he pushed it around, sucking and nibbling on it until she began to whimper. "Suck it!" she murmured. "Make me sing, Cummen! Make me sing!"_

_He looked up between her breasts, grabbed one and pinched the swollen nipple as he declared, "You're so beautiful! Andraste's perfect tits, I want to fuck you! Let me fuck you!"_

"_I want to cum, Cummen! Make me cum!" she replied as her legs wrapped around his shoulders. _

_He dug his fingers into her damp cave, plunging and pushing while his lips and tongue devoured her glossy, red pearl. She moaned and her moan became a cry for release. It was glorious! While she cried out in rapture, Cummen mounted her body and plunged his stiff staff deep into her tight pubic glove and moaned. She was flooded with the slick juices of her desire to the point that he slid in and out without needing lubrication. Then he flipped her over and plunged himself into her…"_

"…_ass…_ 'Ass?' Cullen asked as he looked down at his lady from the pages of the book. They were laying in Miriana's bed under the covers, her head on his broad, powerful chest and her fingers absently toying with his cock, which was fully erect.

"Yes. Anal sex. You've never done it, I assume?" she asked as she peered up at him with a tired smile. It was late at night and Skyhold was full of the hushed sounds of slumber. Outside, snow steadily fell, blanketing the ancient fortress in a thick coating of white and adding to the quiet.

Cullen shook his head, eyebrows drawn. "Why would I want to? I know that men who prefer men do it but why would a man do it to a woman? It sounds… Um… Just not like something I would enjoy."

She shrugged, fixated on the swaying lump under the blankets where his cock was as she played with it. She loved just fondling him and had found that she could keep him erect for hours sometimes simply by touching and stroking him while they lay together. "A woman doesn't usually get pregnant with anal for one. For another, it's a much tighter hole so it feels amazing to the man and finally, it's just _different_. The book, however, has one fatal flaw: vaginal juices from doing it the standard way alone are not sufficient lubrication for anal. Dry sex up the ass hurts like a bitch. Either our writer is being bold or has no clue what dry anal feels like. Of course, they might just be assuming we'll fill in the blanks to keep the momentum going. I can see that."

Cullen was stunned though his cock stiffened in Miriana's hand. "You-you mean you've done this? You know it for a fact?"

"Of course. Does it bother you?"

"I—no! No, it doesn't bother me but… Wow. You just seem so sweet and, ah…" he started to say as he looked down at her at a loss for words.

"My 'innocence' left me when I was fifteen. My first sexual encounter was with a young mage who was feeling bad about himself because he couldn't cast a spell right. I agreed to tutor him and we got to messing around and before I knew it, I had his dick up my tail and no lubrication. It was horrible! He was convinced that traditional girl/guy sex would result in a baby so he wanted to do it through the back entrance. Ugh. The blind leading the blind, as they say. All inspiration and eagerness and no knowledge." She laughed and perched herself on her elbow as she looked into Cullen's eyes, which gleamed like gold in the firelight. "As it was, he wound up becoming a blood mage anyway and was made tranquil some three years later. Funny thing, though… Even though he was tranquil, we continued to be physical, though it was fairly…wooden. I couldn't endure it for long. What was your first time like?"

The former Templar kissed her lips and cuddled her close as his fingers slowly swirled around her nipple. "My first time… Maker… You're asking me to remember! Looking back into my memories is like peering through fog and though it's mostly cleared, it lingers yet. We've discussed this before, haven't we?"

"Humor me."

"Fine, fine," He breathed as he leaned back, enjoying his lover's slow manipulation of his senses as she continued to fondle him. "I was… Seventeen. Or thereabouts. The woman was pretty, younger by a year or two, I don't remember. But she was an elf with big, blue eyes and golden hair. Her body was beautiful, curvaceous for her petite stature and I had the worst need to touch her. She eventually came to me and she let me put my hands on her. Then she, ah, she let me put my mouth on them, on her breasts. Then… Well, you know… We figured out how to do it. But it wasn't at all what I expected." He looked away, cheeks flushed and his arms holding Miriana tightly against him.

"Better?"

"Maker's breath, it was _much_ better! The way she touched me, clearly she wasn't inexperienced. Shortly after that, I met Lady Amell and we began _that_ affair. It started as physical and was supposed to remain physical but…"

"You fell in love with her."

"Ah, well, youthful infatuation that I thought was love. Can we talk about something else? That whole thing upsets me and I'm enjoying what you're doing. I'd like to stay in my original mindset. So, the anal sex…"

"You want to try it?" Miriana asked eagerly as she drew herself up and pushed back the covers, revealing Cullen's hard body and harder cock.

"You're kidding! Really? But…"

"'_Butt_,'" Miriana laughed as she reached for the little jar of lubrication she kept on the nightstand. "But, we should practice because some of the positions, including twelve there that you're reading, has us doing it. Trust me; you'll like it!"

"Does it hurt?" he asked warily as she slicked him up with a scoop of the jar's contents.

"Not usually. Depends on the man's size and girth. In this case, size _does_ count," Miriana said as she straddled him, an impish grin on her face as their eyes met.

"And…?"

"Oh _ho_! Fishing for compliments, are we?" she laughed and positioned herself just behind his erection and teased him by touching it with her fingers and groin. "You're perfect, Cullen. The perfect length, the perfect girth, the perfect touch and curve… Your cock is like art. Maker, I sound like that awful book!"

"Ah…" Cullen's cheeks were flushed as his lover leaned over him sweetly. "Please don't sound like the book. It kills the mood."

"You do have a pretty penis, Cullen. I really like looking at it as much as I enjoy playing with it." Her fingers touched him, positioned him then she positioned herself and slid down his shaft. He gasped, closed his eyes and tilted back his head with his lips parted slightly. Miriana grinned and winced as she pushed herself all the way down to his groin. He was larger than other men she'd done this with in the past and it had been years since she allowed it at all. But once she established a rhythm, she found herself enjoying the pressure of him within her, the thickness of his swollen phallus filling her so completely.

She leaned back and smiled, her fingers touching her breasts as she ground away on him, moving herself up and down along his shaft. Cullen watched, a dreamy expression his face as his fingers teased her, probed her, plunged inside the hole they always used. She was beautifully wet, just like in the chapter. "This… This is nice…" he murmured as he rocked his hips in time with hers. "It's so tight! Maker, I couldn't fathom…!"

She laughed and kissed his lips, his chin and teased his nipples with her teeth and tongue. "Come on, Cullen, buck a little. It won't hurt."

"Are you sure?"

"Enjoy it! Anal is fun!"

He grinned and sat up, holding her to him as his hand cupped her full breast and brought it to his mouth. "As you desire, my lady…"

**%$$%^$^%$^%$&&(*)(**

"I found your merchant!" Varric exclaimed as they walked together through the courtyard.

"Seriously?" Miriana asked. Varric nodded with a grin. "You mean it this time? It's been five days since I first asked you to find this person and you said you had them two days ago."

"You can't tell me that…"

A man nudged Miriana and said, "The battlements are great for an afternoon delight!"

She stared at him, cheeks aflame as he walked past them. "Damn it…! People keep watching us now."

"How can they miss you?" Varric laughed. "It isn't as if you keep behind closed doors these days. What was it, eh, position sixteen you guys did on the barrel in the tavern?"

Miriana frowned and shot him a dark look as she snapped, "It was after the tavern closed!"

"People _live_ there or have you forgotten?"

"How do you explain the man I found in my room?"

Varric shrugged as he gestured for him to follow her. "That was a little creepy but even I've seen your breasts now. Thankfully, I have yet to see what Cullen's packing. Trust me- I don't want to." They turned into the merchant's area and Varric pointed to a merchant who was clearly used to offering her wares from the road. "Your merchant, my lady! Have at it. Now, if you don't mind, I'm behind on Hard in Hightown's next thrilling chapter. And no, you and Cullen will not be featured fucking on the couch in the barracks in _this_ book. Though that last one made me a fortune! You guys could make a killing writing yourselves as fictional characters in pornographic adventures. People love that stuff!"

"Fuck off, Varric. I have work to do," Miriana murmured as she approached the merchant.

"No sense of humor…" grumbled the dwarf as he walked away, a grin on his face.

"_Sleek and hot, he plunged it into her red rectum, slowly, surely, driving it like farmer plunges a spade into the mud,"_ someone said to her as Miriana walked by.

She glared at him and kept going until she stood before the woman, a swarthy lady with big green eyes and cheerful demeanor. "Welcome to Portia's Portables, my lady! What may I get ye?"

"Are you Rivaini?" Miriana asked. "You sound like a Marcher."

"Aye to both, madam. Born and raised to girlhood in the Free Marches to Rivaini parents then moved back to Rivain later. You got a ken for something specific?"

"Yes, a book. A—_smut_ book. Rise of the Sinquisition?"

The woman blanched and shook her head slowly. "Nawp, not this merchant! Don't know what you're talkin' about."

Miriana pulled out a gold coin and dropped it on the plank of wood held up between two barrels the woman used as a counter. The lady stared at it. "I can't discuss that book. Rumor is that the Inquisitor is getting right pissed about its distribution and I canna take no risks."

"Actually, the book is not reviled necessarily, but it is causing a stir. The-Inquisitor just wants information. That's all."

The woman shook her head and then started putting her wares away as if it had dawned on her that she needed to be somewhere. "Shop's closed! Sorry, miss! Gotta run and, er, I'll reopen tomorrow. Come back then. I might be able to talk tomorrow but today, no, not today. Bye!"

"But—"

"Tomorrow!"

Miriana frowned and watched the woman lock up her portable shop and climb into her odd little portable house behind the stall. Portia was on to Miriana, she was probably aware of who she was and why she was asking questions. The Inquisitor, clearly, had frightened the lady enough that she thought, perhaps, that the Inquisition would punish her for distributing the book. This wasn't the case.

The red-haired woman slipped around the make-shift counter and stepped up to the little wheeled cottage where she rapped her knuckles softly against the door. "Mistress Portia, please, I can assure you that there will be no punishment for selling the book. I just need to know who the author is so that we can talk with them. That's all. Portia?" There was no answer from within but Miriana got a distinct vision of the woman curled up on a couch, fingers curled into her mouth, eyes wide with fear.

When Miriana continued to get nothing from the woman, she headed back to Cullen's office where several officers milled around accepting orders from the commander. He handed a woman a bound scroll and said, "Take a handful of troops west into Orlais to round up the Destriers the Empress promised our cavalry. Bring men who understand horses! Each one of those beasts is capable of knocking out an untrained man and I would just as soon avoid needless injury if possible. Need anything else?" The woman shook her head, saluted and left, giving Miriana a wink as she walked by.

Cullen then turned to another officer and furrowed his brows as he handed the man a piece of paper. "Captain Grumman, take your men into the Hinterlands and assist with Redcliff Castle's reconstruction as needed. Your division has some of the most skilled construction men in our army and I would like to see the Arl benefit. If they choose not to accept our aid, as the dwarves may already be assisting, offer your assistance with the relief effort there. Questions?"

"No, ser."

"That will be all, then. Dismissed." One by one, orders were given and men and women left. Miriana smiled as Culled pushed the door closed with a sigh. "Another day, another plan made, another opportunity to weaken Corypheus' army. Any word on our book?"

"I have the merchant!" she said helpfully.

Cullen sat down at his desk and looked up at her as she followed him, eyebrows raised. "That so? And?"

Miriana took her customary perch at the edge of his desk and shook her head. "Bad news, I'm afraid. She won't talk to me, not yet. I think she is afraid of getting in trouble for selling it. She asked me to come back tomorrow for some reason."

Cullen sighed and stretched his arms out across the desk then cradled his face between them. "Maker…" he said in a muffled voice. Miriana tenderly stroked his blond curls with her fingers as he grumbled, "I'm tired of this. I just want the name of the author so that…"

"So that—what? What do we plan to do with them, Cullen?" Miriana asked. "Think! We find the author, we drag them before the throne and then-? What is their punishment? What do they get for making fun of us? Aren't _we_ benefitting from this story, embarrassing as it is?"

Cullen looked up, his expression blank as Miriana smiled gently at him. "I was hoping to shut them down!" he exclaimed at her. "But… I see your point. Maker, this is frustrating. I don't want them punished but couldn't they, I don't know, republish it with different names? A different title? I hate the idea of people knowing what I'm doing with you, what I _want_ to do with you. It's too personal."

"Sera would say this puts us on a level field with the people, you know. She thinks the book is genius!"

"Of _course_ she would. I see your point, love. That doesn't change the fact that I want to find out who the author is! Consider it…curiosity. Which reminds me…"

The commander slid up to elbows and started plucking at Miriana's shirt, opening it from the bottom and slowly working his way up to her breasts, where he stopped long enough to remove his gauntlets before running his hand up over the soft, firm mounds of smooth flesh. She moved closer to him until she was sitting on his desk in front of him, his hands up her shirt, fingers teasing the hard nipples. "What's the next position? he murmured as his eyes followed his hands."

The Inquisitor leaned back in her hands, savoring his attention to her sensitive breasts, delighting in the moist heat of his tongue as he drew her nipple into his mouth and wrapped his tongue around it, sucking it until it was impossibly hard. "Mmmm… The next position is going to be an interesting one. You won't approve, I'm afraid."

He pulled himself away long enough to blink up at her. "If it involves a third party…" he started.

"Position twenty-two? The ménage et tois? I'm working on a plan for that one. It's tricky…"

"No."

"Cullen, really…"

"No."

"It won't be—"

"_No!_" He drew away, arms crossed, a sign of typical male stubbornness, his in particular.

Miriana bristled. "Trust me for one second, would you?"

"I'm _trying_! But my privacy, much less my very _dignity_, has been falling by the wayside during this insane escapade! When will it end?" Cullen complained loudly as the Inquisitor pulled away from him. The interruption to their affections would only be temporary but for now, it had them both defensive, each refusing to budge on the matter. Cullen frowned up at her and raised an eyebrow.

Miriana leaned back on her hands, shirt wide open and her torso exposed with her eyes on his face as she said, "You really want this exploration of the book's positions to end? It isn't just about sex, Cullen. We're playing! Having fun! Yes, alright, it isn't exactly _chaste_ fun but it's not boring. Don't tell me you aren't enjoying it," she snapped at him as she leaned forward, reaching forward to sandwich his face between her palms.

"That isn't the point—" he began.

"Isn't it?" she asked, smiling. "If we stopped, if it really halted, you wouldn't miss it?"

He looked up at her, the eyebrow still quirked but a grin had replaced the frown and his hands had found their way back up her body where they once again teased and caressed her body and the firm mounds of soft, pale flesh. "Lay back and forget we had this argument, my lady. Maker, I swear I give up far too easily. As for your ménage et whatever, I reserve the right to veto anything that gets either one of us poked by somebody that isn't us."

"Deal. I know exactly what I plan to do then!"

Cullen's eyes went wide as he said, "Wait, what did I just agree to?"

To Be Continued…


End file.
